Guest Etiquette
The general rule-of-thumb I live by when traveling and being a guest at other’s houses, whether friends, friends of friends, couch surfing hosts, or whoever lets me into their home is this–It sounds a bit clinical but I like saying it concisely:
Add value to the system.
What that means is to try to err on giving more than what is received.
Specifically, when showering wipe things down to get rid of your body hair and theirs. If you shave at the sink, leave it cleaner than when you started. When cooking, make more food than you need. Feed whoever wants to eat. When cleaning up, do the extra dishes lying around. When wiping down the kitchen, make it cleaner than you started…etc, etc. Basically give more than you receive.
There are basic expenses no matter what you do, where you live, like food. So whatever cash that might have been saved by being a guest, can easily be spent on a little more food or a little better food.
Everyone wins this way.
Being a guest and a host takes energy. It’s nice to do what I can to surprise the host into realizing guests can actually make their day-to-day life better, easier, more fun.
Having a guest who is in travel most while you are in work-mode, can be help you vicariously feel the fun and open-ness of traveling without leaving your needed work-life routine. Maybe you’re saving up for your next travels, and want the travel feeling but it’s just not the right time…brining someone in can be the next best thing.
Other things I like to do are little favors for other people. If I notice something broken, a leaky faucet, worn out brake shoes, plants that need to be watered I’ll try to fix it…
These are lasting favors that aren’t too hard but for someone who has lived with them for a while, maybe it’s harder for them to get around to it.
Then when you leave. Your efforts go further and are appreciated even in your absence.
This isn’t about making myself look good. Altho that is a nice side-effect (and I suppose of course it doesn’t hurt. 
It’s about putting a good taste in people’s mouths about having guests in general, and it helps to counter the bad-guest experiences people may have had. Being a guest is about giving more than receiving.
I do like exploring and traveling without spending a fortune. So I really am grateful when people share their space that they pay hard-earned money to have.
The least I can do is leave them with a good taste in their mouth whether it be from fixing something that has been on their to-do list for too long, or making a nice meal.
June 24th, 2010 at 2:51 pm
Can’t wait for you to be our houseguest (again)! You’ll enjoy our new house and wiping down the hot tub after lounging around in it spacing out at the mountains.
July 16th, 2010 at 9:31 pm
GENIUS! this reminds me of two things: when you visited me recently and went to the grocery store to pick up groceries as a gift and you survived Senior day at Fry’s! LOL! thank you! and this reminds me of Dad – he likes to be a guest like this too. but he goes a little further and fixes things people don’t want fixed (like he and his girlfriend visited my apt in LA and cleared off my desk completely – nice to see my desk but where are those papers i had all organized!?
or when he woke up earlier than me and used a steak knife to trim the bushes when i had all the tools in my garage. now my knife is warped. oh well 
please keep being a stellar house guest! you are helping people of the world to know that Americans are polite and responsible 
July 22nd, 2010 at 4:54 am
Thanks for your thoughts.
There is a flipside to this post.
Sometimes it’s really nice not being a guest. Being able to leave the dishes in the sink after cooking a big meal and not worrying about when or if it will ever be cleaned.
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I finally set up some spam filtering for comments, so hopefully I will be able to more quickly approve your thoughts in the future.